Book of complaints

Stores are required to post a sign telling you that there is a complaint log available for you to write in or peruse at your request.

I went to return something at the local megamart today and while I was waiting at the customer service desk, I started flipping through the complaint book.

I have this vision in my head of the complaint book being the ultimate escalation. You have a problem. Maybe you talk to the manager for a few minutes and you're still not satisfied. Tempers flare. Voices rise. Suddenly, everyone falls silent and takes one step back as you request [cue ominous music] the Book of Complaints.

And then you write your complaint in there and then . . .

Yeah. Exactly. I'm not sure what's supposed to happen next. I remember being told a long time ago in Spain that periodically someone from the government would come around and look at the complaint book. And then what? Copy the best ones over into his/her own notebook and then . . .

Yeah. Exactly.

Today I only looked at a few pages. One complaint noted that there were NEVER, EVER any large plastic bags, no matter how many times you ask for them. All they have are the small plastic bags. Totally unacceptable. This is something I have observed myself, although I have never been moved to write about it in the complaint book.

The other complaint observed that the lack of dairy product selection in the store was very frustrating. While the complaint acknowledged that this problem was probably not due to the store itself, it was still unacceptable. It was, the complaint concluded, "¡una vergüenza!" (Shameful!)

Man . . . that is a tongue-lashing from which the complaint book won't soon recover!