Saturday, February 16, 2008

Gulp

Lady and gentleman, I give you: The World's First Expat Blog drinking game.

Do not attempt while operating heavy machinery — not that it was ever really a good idea to read this blog while you drive a forklift.

Take a drink every time I:

Make reference to how poor I am.

Mention inflation, pizza, gnocchi, ice cream or wine.

Write about how few people read this blog.

Visit the cheese store.

Make the easy joke.

Make the cheap joke.

Make the bad joke.

Fail to leave well enough alone.

Portray myself as kind/generous/hilarious.

Lament how little time I have left in Argentina.

Reflect on X and how it makes me feel a little Y (drawing a chorus of ZZZs).

Read something in the newspaper and then rant about it.

Elicit a sigh, a groan, or a roll of the eyes.

Mine my insecurity and self-critical nature for cheap blog fodder.

End a sentence and then follow it with a sentence fragment for supposed comic effect. Like this.

Make you wish it were summer in Chicago already for God's sake so I could go back to writing that other blog.

6 comments:

Matt said...

I'm waiting for friends to turn up to go out on a drinking binge to mask the agonising back pain i'm currently suffering from and I'm already completly hammered after playing your drinking game. But i can still spell.

Matt said...

I meant 'tpye' not 'sepll'.

Sarah said...

I'm perplexed - why did you address this post in the singular (lady and gentleman)?? I suspect it was intentional, given your refined Medill-trained writing & witty nature . . .

Esteban said...

Oh, wait. Is this blog about you? I didn't realize...

Dan said...

Matt - Are you as think as I drunk you are? It's not very sporting to start the game 2½ sheets to the wind.

Sarah - I refer you to the following points:

• Write about how few people read this blog.
• Make the easy joke.
• Make the cheap joke.
• Make the bad joke.
• Mine my insecurity and self-critical nature for cheap blog fodder.

The idea is that two people read this blog. Although somehow three people have commented. Which means that one of you is just logging on as someone else to screw with me. Thanks a lot! See if I help you across the street when you're old!

Esteban - You recently spent three solid weeks with me. Wasn't that enough time to realize that everything's about me? Everything except this blog, which, if I may quote myself, is not really about anything.

Anonymous said...

I doubt anyone short of a 500lb alcoholic could survive your drinking game.